My Long Walk Nowhere; PART THREE

The divorce

Once the case was close there was no more need for CPS to monitor the visits and my ex-husband was in another relationship. She and I sat down and talk, coming to the agreement that he needed to step-up and be a father. We made an agreement that he would take the children on some weekends and file for the divorce and we would go our separate ways as friends and co-parent like real parents should do. But this never happened; he would never show up when he was supposed to, he would never call like he said he would, and when he would schedule a weekend he would back out and leave the children hanging on to a hope of a weekend with their father. My eldest son was so hopeful that on one weekend; he took all of his ADHD medication “so that he would behave for the weekend” according to him. According to him when asked that Monday when I went to give him his medication and there was none there, and he finally told me he climb up there and took it; his father told him that “If he could not behave that he was never allowed to come back to his house, ever!”

He did not tell me he was still going to court for CPS and other charges at this time of the sexual assault on a minor. All charges through CPS were going his way when they came to him and told him if he terminated his rights voluntarily they would not prosecute him for molesting his children. He took the deal and severed all ties with his children; signing his rights over to the State, not me. Thinking this would solve his problems (and it did for a short time delaying him going to jail on these charges he never went to jail for these crimes against children). Recent text messages from him to a family member have him admitting to signing off so that he can stay out of the “hoosegow”, and yes that he did molest his children and that nobody needed to know about it (now you know).

My last stand

On one of the many visits with the children my ex-husband thought he would try to get me in trouble with CPS and tell them I was uptown partying and had me called in for a drug and alcohol test. Just because I was out for a midnight stroll; when I arrived at DHS for my meeting with them and they asked me for the test I had to literally laugh at them. The three people in that meeting looked at me funny  and asked me what I was laughing at, looking around at them, I said, “I am probably the cleanest one in this room, let alone the cleanest one you know.” Well, we still have to have you take the test and I looked at them and said ok, well let me tell you the reason why you are asking for this test and where the children were. After I told them what was going on, I got up walked out to the bathroom took their test asked them if there was anything else they needed from me and when they said no I left.

At this time, I had Families First in my life and had to hide the fact that my second husband was an alcoholic and he would binge drink monthly or whenever things got to be too much. We got married after I had gotten approval from the State and went through a jumped through a bunch of hoops and had gotten the children back. We were finally a family and everything was going good until one day my daughter came home with ink on her skin it was on her back in places where I knew she couldn’t reach in her private area’s down the inside of her legs and she never ran to change her clothes right away when she came home from school before showing me her school stuff.

Mind you we had already been turned in once because there was an incident where there was a claim of sexual assault between my second husband’s father that he took care of and my eldest children (which was false). After seeing these marks on my child, I phone the school right away and spoke to the school demanding answers to no end, my second call was to the CPS office, my biggest mistake was not taking my child to the hospital for an exam, I was talked out of that one (by CPS, I do believe). CPS came out the next day taking a report from me and told me that they could not help me with my daughter unless they opened a CPS case. I looked at them and told them that if it meant helping my daughter by putting her in a school to re-teach her that sex was not ok at her age and that she needed help then do so. The worker told me that she would have to take my daughter I said no you have to put her in the school I found!

We went into court and they took my daughter with me assuming she was going to get help; this time there was stricter rules of engagement which I understood and this was to re-educate all of us including the children at home as well. Earlier I had mentioned about the situation with the second husband father and this is where it became a problem CPS told me I had to chose; I had to either lose all my children or leave my second husband. So I left; they found me a house in the next town over and paid for the rent and utilities. Again; alone fighting a system I knew nothing about jumping through the hoops but this time I went to them for everything even when I became an exotic dancer, I asked permission. I did everything they asked I even ran every name past them before letting them around my children. Babysitters, boyfriend, friends, anyone that would have contact with my children I had them checked out. This was not enough for them in the end, after my youngest two daughters’ took off on me one day while I was sick and sleeping in a room where I had them with me sleeping with all doors locked. In October, with very little clothing and no socks, no coats they got board and where going to the school up the road to see their brothers. It wasn’t long and CPS was having me in court after going to the school and pulling my boys out of class to talk to them, they came to my door to talk to my girls. Upon leaving, they turned to me and said, “Have the children to the courthouse in an hour we are taking the children; You were nothing but a glorified babysitter anyway!”